Turning 30 - Well, not just yet

Last week was Christian's birthday. He turned 30.

Chris is the first of my friends from my pre-teens to turn 30, and this weekend will be Darryl's 30th. So the 30's are coming thick and fast. It's strange, at the moment this doesn't feel like a big deal. But I also feel very aware that my birthday is about nine months after everyone else's. Maybe I'll feel different when it's my turn, but right now I'm fairly happy with where I am and who I am. I'm looking forward to my 30's and seeing what we have install for each other.

I'd be lying if I said this is where I thought I'd be five years ago, heck, even one year ago. But while I sit here I think of all the amazing things I've done, the places I've seen, the people I've met and the experiences I've had. I'd like to think that when its my turn to turn the big 30, I'll think pretty much exactly the same as I do now. I'd like to think I'll be thinking the same thing when I turn 50, 70 and more. Just with many more experiences, journeys and friends. 

I think the fact I have friends in their 30's (and above) makes a difference to my outlook too. I have some really amazing friends, hearing their experiences, their journeys to becoming the people they are today fills me with inspiration and motivation. These are people that have overcome real challenges within their life's. People that have shown me it's possible to start again, to explore new avenues of opportunity, and to enjoy life, make the most of whatever you have. Love it and live it!

Birthday wise, this year I didn't really celebrate it for various reasons and while I don't know where I'll be in nine months time. I do know that I'd like to spend it with my friends. Those people that are there for you whatever, those people that have your back. The people that inspire and motivate you. What else could you want.... Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind a good walk and some pizza too. 

But hey, I've got nine more months to experience before then.

Job applications and interviews

I am currently in the process of looking for my next career opportunity. The process is a strange experience. I have changed jobs a few times now and have some experience of looking and applying for work opportunities.

In some ways it is great because you can get excited about the opportunities you see and the possibilities that could come with the positions. Along with reviewing your previous experience and achievements. However, this initial excitement passes fairly quickly each time you have to re-fill in your persons details, employment and education history. With each form having a very, very slightly different formate, so there's no copy and paste option here. 

If your proactive enough, you will get through a few of these forms and repeating your answers to the most basic questions can be extremely frustrating. Especially when you want to focus on the job specific questions and information.

Truthfully I am disappointed when you do not get confirmation emails, or messages to inform you that you have not been selected. These are template emails and could be sent with relative ease by the organisation. This interaction would cost very little time and does influence my view of organisations. On one occasion, even after an interview, I had to contact the organisation to find out if I had been successful (I assumed I had not been, but thought I deserved an email or phone call to inform me of this). 

Interviews are definitely interesting. This is your opportunity to see if the job, and the organisation, is right for you. As well as the employer judging if you are the right person for them. Often this can be forgotten on the day as interview nerves kick in, particularly if you have a presentation or tasks to complete on the day. 

Remember to look around, what are the facilities like, is it clean, would you be happy working in this environment? Talk to other employees, are they happy, friendly, positive? You may even have your own list of workplace / environment expectations. Of course still remember you have to impress to be offered the job!

Asking questions and showing a genuine interest is viewed favourably by interviewers. They may even ask the view of any other staff that have interacted with you throughout your visit, so always be pleasant and professional. 

The journey to an interview can also have a huge impact on your experience and affect how you come across on the day. I like to review the route online a few days before, make sure I can locate a few parking options and allow plenty of time for traffic. Personally I would rather arrive an hour early than five minutes before. So I have plenty of time to relax and walk around. I have spoken to people previously who would travel to the interview venue prior to the day. For me, this a un-required expense and on occasion impractical given the distance involved. However if you require this or any other pre interview preparation you should do it.

I'm interested to hear what your pre interview prep includes, and what do you opinion of job applications is. Let me know by comment or tweet me @Mike_Douglas_

Talking Heads Southampton - Rocking Evening

I had a very enjoyable evening last night at the Talking Heads pub in Southampton (http://talkingheads.vticket.co.uk). Both Helen and Rachel had mentioned the gig the week before, as they are friends with a couple of the acts performing, and it sounded interesting. 

We met at Rach's before the gig to chat, have a few drinks and some chips. When we made our way to the venue, where I enjoyed my regular conversation with our taxi driver. On this occasion I found out that our taxi had two cameras in it and a panic button! This driver must have had some bad fares. Unfortunately there was no sing-a-long opportunity, but that does mean I feel fairly confident in saying that our journey will not end up on YouTube.

When we arrived we met up with the girls friends; Lee, Stuart and James (I think). It was quite interesting finding out about the work that these guys do and their use of drones. I may have asked quite a lot of questions about some of the legal / practical uses of the drones, possibly more than someone is meant to ask on a first meeting.

I also met two people, Charlotte and Tony, at the bar and chatted with them for a while before we made our way around to the event / stage.

The bands performing where Kings o Leon, Nearvana, Paramore (or less) and Foo Forgers. I enjoyed all of the sets, but has too be said, Foo Forgers where the ones that had me up at the front rocking out. I definitely had a very enjoyable evening, with good company and good music. 

This was the first time I'd visited the Talking Heads pub and as a venue it was pretty good. It was a nice size with more than adequate facilities and a good vibe.

The evening / night was rounded off with some much needed (if cooked a little too quickly) chips at Rach's with those awesome sisters and a couple more conversations before calling it a night. 

I look forward to the next opportunity to hear these bands and / or visit the pub for another gig. 

Foo Fighters - Broken Leg Tour

Around the start of the summer Helen had mentioned she was going to see the Foo Fighters, did anyone want to go with?

I like the Foo Fighters, but I think it's fair to say I'm not a massive fan. For me this was just as much about doing something different with a new friend and enjoying some live music at a venue I had not been to before. Helen was a great organiser, she booked our tickets and after discussion arranged our coach transport, what more could a guy ask for? 

The day came around really quickly, our plan was to meet at Helen's, then get a taxi or lift into town to jump on the coach. I arrived at 9.30am and we discussed the day, working out we would arrive in Milton Keynes four hours before the first act. At this stage we were thinking we could have driven and left later, however it was also in our minds that hopefully being able to sleep on the way back would be the benefit as we would not be returning to Southampton until 2.30am (we actually got back to Helen's for 3.40am!).

The adventure started with a coach driver who admitted openly he didn't know where he was going, he'd never been to the venue before and didn't know if we were being picked up by him or even if the pick up point was the same as the drop off. Then, despite telling us he didn't know where he was going, he informed us that he was ignoring the suggested route he had been provided with. This, was an interesting character! 

On the journey we had a good chat and a few discussions about different topics. We entered into friendships and relationships conversation territory, and all I can say is talking about your new bessie mate to her sister is an interesting experience. I enjoyed spending the time together and definitely feel that Helen is a friend, rather than just a friend's sister.

On the coach we had chosen in sit behind the toilet, this meant we had a little bit more space and didnt have some sat directly in front of us. However, it did mean that you had to try and avoid awkward eye contact with the person that was about to sit on the toilet as they went in. Actually it was more funny than awkward. 

On arrival at Milton Keynes Bowl we walked around looking at the merch stand, sat and had our lunch before walking around the area and finding a nearby Tesco. We decided to grab a couple of drinks before we went into the Bowl. That four hours seemed non existent, walked back from Tesco and had our drinks by the lake before joining the queue to enter the bowl. Didn't really fell like we did much waiting.  

The Bowl is a great venue, but it's just so difficult to move around the food stalls and toilet area, this could really do with being extended or widened.

The first support act was Royal Blood, I recognised a lot of the music but didn't know many lyrics. It was a good start, apart from the blinding sun being right in my eye line, fancy not bringing sunglasses. After the the first act we walked around to the toilet area, where I engaged in a rather humorous conversation about toilet times with a few other visitors in the queue.
We then made our way around to the food stalls and settled on the noodle bar (I'd learnt from Mike at the crew at victorious. Though I am disappointed I didn't take a photo), once we had our food we made our way back in and eventually found a spot to sit and eat. The chicken chow mein was amazing! The second support act was Iggy Pop, who was great. I recognised way more songs than I thought I would, I was even able to sing along to a couple. 

Then the main act, Foo Fighters. Loved listing to the older songs as that's a majority of what I know. Dave Grohl is a grand lead man, even if it is from a throne! We sung along and danced on the hill as the tunes ran though. The Under Pressure performance with John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) and Roger Taylor (Queen) was a pretty cool surprise too! The best part of the day...The Best Of You performance, some great crowd involvement. There's a pretty decent video on YouTube from a crowd member slightly closer than us (YouTube Link). I can't really say much more about the evening other than it was great.

Once the gig was finished we made our way back to the coach. Finding our driver asleep was quite funny and probably the best part of the return journey. Once the coach was full we were informed no vehicles were going to be allowed to leave the site until all pedestrians had cleared the area. This meant waiting over an hour before even moving. We got back to Helens for 3.40am to round off a pretty cool day trip. It's fair to say we were both quite tired the next day. 

Victorious Festival

This was my third time attending victorious, the first time I went along it was held at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard so I still find it really interesting to see the event in its new location at Southsea Common.

I decided to travel by train, as parking and driving into Portsmouth and Southsea would be ridiculous with the number of people attending. This meant arriving at Portsmouth and Southsea station and then walking up to the seafront which was about a 20 minute walk. Along the way I grabbed a tuna and pasta salad and drink from Sainsbury's and I ate that on the walk. Side note, this was the worst tuna and pasta salad ever!

Last year had been an amazing day and was great weather, this year the forecast was slightly different with more than the occasional cloud and rain predicted. So no flip-flops this time instead walking shoes, instead of shorts I wore jeans, and last years jumper had been joined by a coat.

I arrived just after 1pm and walked to the entrance. At this time there was no queue and I did not have a bag, so the entry process was quick. I had arranged to meet some friends at 2pm. So I had a while to walk around and see what was here. The venue had been extended this year to include more of the common and an additional stage. It does feel like the event is growing each year and gradually turning into a great festival event. There seemed to be plenty to do if you had a family, with an area away from the larger stages where you could find small rides, games, circus skills, small tennis courts, a painting wall and Disney princesses. 

As I walked around the one thing I thought was missing was something resembling the lounge tent I'd visited at the Common People Festival in Southampton. That had a great vibe and was a really interesting setting. 

I met up with Mike, Ellie, Marcus, Mike, Lucy and Amy round by one of the tanks. We had a quick chat and started to walk around the venue and tried to work out the acts we wanted to see and the times and stages we needed to be at. 

The first act I wanted to see was Jerry Williams. I had seen that a friend, Amba, was playing at victorious on Instagram and found out when she was performing. This was a great set, I really enjoyed hearing Jerry sing on the acoustic stage. She has one additional fan in me. I'm even attaching a link - Jerry Williams Music 

After this we walked around a bit more, I even bumped into Tracey from Speed Dating. I say bumped into, we had been texting so we both knew we were there. It was great to have a brief chat and a dance with the girls (Tracey was there with Emma and another friend, who's name I can't remember, sorry!). I found out we were also both going to the Foo Fighters gig in Milton Keynes the following week, unfortunately on different days though. 

With Mike and the crew we moved round to the Common Stage, to see The Magic Numbers and The Fratellis sets, we also grabbed food in between, or possibly before not exactly sure. I went for burger and chips, which was ok. I think I had gotten to the stage where as long as it was food I'd be happy, haha. most of the guys went for noodles, which looked good (There maybe mention of noodles at the next event...). The performances were great and we really enjoyed listening to the music and, well, kind of dancing around. The rain did really change the atmosphere from what I had experienced the year before, and even at Common People earlier in this year. 

At this point we split up with the guys going over to another stage to watch Mystery Jets, I stayed for Primal Scream. At this point I finally managed to get through to Olivia who was also at the event. Olivia has been a friend since preschool, but we've not seen each other for a couple of years. So I went over to say hi to her and her friends (finding them in the crowd was actually not too difficult) as we watched Primal Scream. It was great to catch up, have a chat, find out what she was up to and meet her boyfriend Nick, who I believe works for National Geographic.

We then made our way over to watch Tiny Temper close the event. While dancing around in the mud was fun, my legs were seriously starting to fail me. I knew I'd be ok once we where walking back to the station, but dancing on the spot wasn't great. 

All in all I enjoyed victorious this year, but it has to be said it's a very different event when you can't sit down or lay the grass, just look up at the sunny sky and listen to music as you close your eyes. The other difference this year, I would say the Sunday was a stronger lined up than Saturday. I would have loved to have seen Texas and I'm sure Ray Davies, The Darkness and Hayseed Dixie would have been great to see live too.

I'll definitely go again next year, I'm even considering going for both days. I would love to see a couple more smaller stages such as the one that was the Common People for smaller acts in a more intimate setting. It was great to manage to see a few people there too, I enjoyed catching up and spend time with these guys.

Walking to the train station with Olivia and friends

Mike and the crew after I lost them.

Singles night(s)

In the last few weeks I've decided I would like to put myself back out there and have, on recommendation from Rachel, joined a couple of dating apps and signed up for a singles night.

The apps are pretty hit and miss in my opinion so far. I've heard horror stories and success stories, so that, I guess, reinforces that view. Additionally I enjoy face to face interaction much more. I feel that I learn more about the person I am with and gain a better feeling for if there is any sort of connection when you are physically in each others presence. 

For this reason I was interested and excited to attend a Match.com event in Southampton with Rachel. We went along and had dinner (in the same venue as the event) before the event started. This allowed us to see the first few people go up and know we wouldn't be the first to enter. We tried to see who was going up to the function room to gage a few things about the people attending, like attractiveness, age, gender. This was fairly unsuccessful, we could see that some people had gone up but we couldn't see enough to tell what they where like. This was an open event, so there could be mainly 20, 30, 50, 80 year olds, we didn't know. In a strange way that made me more nervous and more relaxed at the same time. Its hard to explain.  

About 20 minutes after the event started we made our way over and signed in with the host. At this point we were given a drinks card, there was something about finding someone (of the opposite sex) with a matching card to get a free drink, but we quickly saw you could exchange them for a drink without matching them. So I'm not sure if it didn't matter, or maybe we would have gotten a better drink if we'd matched it? I really don't know. 

* I have since worked out, I think, that these are just conversation starters. It makes no difference to your drink. 

For a while we just talked to each other, as everyone else was notability older than us (minimum 15 years older) and that wasn't something we were looking for. After about 15 minutes there was a steady influx of people. Somehow we created a group of 5 and chatted as a small group for a while. Sometimes with multiple conversations at once. 

It was really nice to just chat to people and enjoy being sociable with new people. Through I evening I mainly spoke to two girls, April and Julianna. While Rach spoke to a couple of guys. It was great to be there with someone, but be happy to talk to different people / groups. I guess it made me feel more comfortable and relaxed. 

The two girls I spoke to where friends and where really interesting to talk to. We discussed a few things throughout the evening, I did get distracted a couple of times with tying to work out their safe, or escape phase (which I managed to get by the end of the evening using my skills of deduction). At one stage in the evening I did look around the room and see that there where quite a few people at the event now and thought maybe I should 'mingle' more. However I was enjoying the conversation and company I currently had so opted to stay where I was. Occasionally someone would come over and sit with the three of us, but they would also leave after a short while. The next time I looked around the room had started to empty out, more people where leaving and the bar was shutting. It felt like it had been 10 minutes, I can only assume it had been much longer.

I really enjoyed the event and was glad that Rach had suggested it. I continue to chat with April, we've even been on two dates.

Shortly after the singles night we also signed up for a Speed Dating event. This time Rach's sister, Helen would be coming with us too.

I was looking forward to the speed dating to see how different it was to the open, free, Match event. This event was booked through Speed Dater and had a £13 booking fee. Now I've mentioned the money, I feel this is an appropriate time to mention one of the differences here. Attending the 'open' mingle type of event before was great to attend with someone of the opposite gender. Speed Dating however, not as much. You are paying to meet people, so what is the point of going with people you already know? For me, I really like these girls so spending time with them is a joy and something I look forward to. However, I was definitely feeling that I had two wasted dates, which equated to £2.60 of my booking free. Ok, I've said it now I'll let that go. They really are lovely girls 😀  

This time on arrival we grabbed drinks and made our way up to the event area straight away. There were a couple of people there already, but a majority hadn't arrived yet. 

As people began to arrive there was a visible difference in the attire people where wearing, particularly I thought the guys. Having gone with the smart casual standard shirt and jeans, I was interested to see Gary turn up in a suit and tie combo and another chap wearing t-shirt jeans and carrying a bag. A couple of the girls seemed to have come together and where dressed in similar fashion, so there wasn't as much of a difference in their attire.

Rach, Helen and myself sat down and chatted for about 20 minutes. At this point the event host provided an overview of the evening and how the dates would work. Ladies would sit at a table for the evening with men rotating tables every four minutes, the four minutes would be sounded by a bell. We had been provided with the scorecard, which we could make notes on following each date. Along with ticking if we were interested in dating this person, being friends or not interested. 

Once we started, you start on the table that matches your number, so for example girl 3 starts with boy 3. I immediately enjoyed the experience and talking to the different girls that where there. I found it hilarious that the host put Rachel and Helen next to each other. Meaning each could hear the others conversation. Meeting the family on the first date, within four minutes, still makes me chuckle. Personally I was not keen on the set up of the room, I didn't feel the space was optimised and some dates where very close to others and then two where in there own space. It just seemed a little strange. I did not seem to have a chance to make any 'notes' as I went around. I managed with just noting down name and table number.

As an experience it was different to what I had expected. I though you'd be able to chat with people, but you may need to think of a topic or question if the conversation stalled. However I found the opposite, it was easy to talk to everyone. But with the time going so fast, it became important to move the conversation on to other topics sometimes, or you learnt nothing about the person other than a hobby or their job. The event as a whole seemed to pass very quickly which I suppose shows I had a good time. We hung around after the event finished with two guys (Chris and Mike) and two girls (Emma and Tracey) for a little while, having a couple of drinks and chatting about our thoughts on the evening. I retain the belief that these are great events for meeting and chatting to new people. I think the pressure comes when you go hoping to meet someone that night. 

I think the two events are very different, and both are worth attending. Speed Dating is good for confidence building because you have to talk to everyone at the event. However it can be restrictive if you want to spend more that a couple of minutes with someone. Then you really need to catch them at the end of the dating and chat a bit more. The open events, such as Match, are nice relaxing evenings out and you can attend without the same pressure that may come with speed dating, however (again) you do have to make the effort to approach and talk to people. No one is going to ring a bell a say its your turn with that girl / guy you like the look of.