Mental Health Posts Moved

Happy New Year All,

If you are a returning reader and looking for some of my recent posts (within the last 5 months or so) you may have realised they are not here anymore. Due to the content and the future things I would like to post on this blog I have now moved those posts.

They are now viewable at Mike's Open Journal 

Thanks

Running for MIND - Great South Run

For a little while now I've been saying I'm going to write a blog post about why I'm running for MIND in this years Great South Run. It has definitely taken longer than I planned to just sit down and write. 

While there has been quite a few things going on, applications, interviews, odd jobs, I have in truth, properly put off writing this for other reasons. My feelings, emotions and experience are the reasons I am running for MIND, they are also the reasons I haven't spoken about my chosen charity as much this year. 

In previous years I've posted and asked for donations, when running for the amazing NSPCC. This year has been different.

I have deliberated on how much to expose myself and my experience. This has been a very difficult decision. In considering this I have realised the difference reading certain posts and hearing certain comments has made to me, and how powerful that message or story can be, even if it is to just one person. Additionally I believe I have changed in a positive way because of the support I've received and found. But I recognise that there were times when that could have been different. It is with that in mind that I write this...

My experience, or story, is just that. It is mine. I am not about to pretend to know or assume how other people deal with things, react or come to terms with certain events. We all experience different events during our life's, and are affected differently by them. I know people who have been through worse than me, but in the moment that doesn't help, it doesn't make a difference. At least it didn't for me.

In late January to early February 2007 I started a relationship with someone that became very special to me. We shared amazing times and memories over six years. We then celebrated our love with family and friends as we became husband and wife in 2013 and continued for two more years in happily wedded bliss. Until January - February 2015 when the relationship suddenly ended. 

Louise (I've changed all the names) decided she was not happy anymore and ended the relationship. For me this was a horrific surprise and something I could never have prepare for. Both now and at the time I respect the difficult decision Louise made and the courage it took to say, I'm not happy, this isn't what I want. 

That being said, my closest friend, my love, my wife, telling me this rocked me to my core. In that moment I suppose you make an unconscious decision. Mine was to cover these emotions. To hide the horror, the shock, the hurt, the pain, the questions, the doubt and the shame.

At this time I travelled approximately one hour twenty minutes to work. I knew the route well and there was a steady flow of traffic through the country roads, so it's a long time to sit and think.

I became short with friends and colleagues when questions or conversations about personal life came up. But I managed to remain positive and professional at work (I think). I even managed to fake this 'professional' me in my personal life. This I believe is the outcome of that first unconscious decision. I had times where I lost myself in the fake facade I had created. This meant I also had moments where my emotions would suddenly rush out. 

The first time this happened I was at work, I just managed to make it to the toilets before breaking down. After I don't know how long, it was a while, I managed to sort my self out and started to walk back to the office. On the less than a minute walk I knew I was about to go again. It was all I could do to ask my boss for a quick chat. I'm not sure what I was thinking, I guess that in that moment I knew I wasn't going to be able to work as normal and in an attempt to keep it professional wanted to inform her that I wasn't going to be up to much today. Well, that 'professional' me lasted about ten seconds. I told Kim everything. She was the first person I had spoken to about the relationship ending, and would be the only person I'd talk to about this for some time.

This is where the long drive into work became a bigger issue. I started to have repeated thoughts of self harm and even considered my willingness to continue with life. At this time, I felt like I had lost everything, I had failed as a husband and lost the person that mattered most to me. My inability to be honest with myself prevented me from seeing what was happening. Any questions from the few family or friends who knew about the break up where met with neutral reassuring responses. This was a difficult period, suddenly having a lot of alone time and also not wanting to talk to people. Looking back I think two things really helped to start to shift my attitude from that dangerous downward spiral. 

The first was the support and friendship from Kim and my two closest colleagues. They knew something was wrong but never pushed me to talk about it, never complained when their questions about last night or the weekend where met with short dismissive answers. Whatever happens in the future these three people will always be in my heart for the support they gave me at this time. They were there at a time when I was not ready to talk to old friends, people who had known me for a long time and known myself and Louise as a couple.

The second was online resources and material promoted (and provided) by MIND and similar charities. While I could never build my confidence to engage with someone / anyone at the charities and ask for help. Reading and listening to other people's stories started to help me come to accept my thoughts and feelings and recognise the negative thoughts as...well, just that. They where thoughts and understandably so. BUT this was not what I wanted. 

From this point I was able to make small gradual changes. Although some were bigger and more risky. 

I left my permanent post, and those amazing colleagues, to accept a job closer to home. So I was able to cut out that long drive, where I was often having negative thoughts. The new job was another focus and there was a lot of change happening at my new institution to keep up with. I made an effort to socialise more and meet new people. I still keep in regular contact with my former colleagues, even lining up the occasional man date with one of the guys. As for Kim, well she has become my best friend. She is the person I go to first for advice, she has seen, and known, me at my lowest, and still accepted me. 

You never know what is going to happen in the future. But I will always remember the time these guys where my saviours and supported me through the most difficult moments in my life so far.  

Taking the new job did come with its own risks, I gave up an awesome permanent job to accept a short term fixed contract. Mentally this comes with its own challenges, of feeling like you have nothing permanent in your life. But in the short term, I think, this is what I needed. 

I have changed a lot in this time. I am still me, but I'm also different. The mental, emotional and I suppose psychological scares that I have will be with me forever. But even in this short time, I have come to accept them, acknowledging them and in turn their affect on me lessens. 

I have learnt to trust people again, and now find myself able to talk about my experience. This, is a big change. 

That tells you a little about my experience and how for me MIND was one of two support systems that helped me during a very difficult time. I am someone who has benefited from the advice, support and information they provide. I would like to say a big thank you to everyone involved in MIND and in similar charities that work to support and inform us all on issues related to mental health. 

I mentioned at the start that I am running the Great South Run (this weekend), this will be my 5th time running. Previously I have asked for donations, I'm still keen to get some money coming in, I have a modest target of £50, so every £1 counts! However my main aim is to get people talking about mental health, to engage people in conversations and raise awareness of this hidden health issue. 

Thank you for reading.

If you would like to donate please visit 

https://www.justgiving.com/Mike-Runs-For-Your-Money/

If you would like to find out more about MIND or mental health in general visit

http://www.mind.org.uk/

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Mentalhealthhome.aspx

Turning 30 - Well, not just yet

Last week was Christian's birthday. He turned 30.

Chris is the first of my friends from my pre-teens to turn 30, and this weekend will be Darryl's 30th. So the 30's are coming thick and fast. It's strange, at the moment this doesn't feel like a big deal. But I also feel very aware that my birthday is about nine months after everyone else's. Maybe I'll feel different when it's my turn, but right now I'm fairly happy with where I am and who I am. I'm looking forward to my 30's and seeing what we have install for each other.

I'd be lying if I said this is where I thought I'd be five years ago, heck, even one year ago. But while I sit here I think of all the amazing things I've done, the places I've seen, the people I've met and the experiences I've had. I'd like to think that when its my turn to turn the big 30, I'll think pretty much exactly the same as I do now. I'd like to think I'll be thinking the same thing when I turn 50, 70 and more. Just with many more experiences, journeys and friends. 

I think the fact I have friends in their 30's (and above) makes a difference to my outlook too. I have some really amazing friends, hearing their experiences, their journeys to becoming the people they are today fills me with inspiration and motivation. These are people that have overcome real challenges within their life's. People that have shown me it's possible to start again, to explore new avenues of opportunity, and to enjoy life, make the most of whatever you have. Love it and live it!

Birthday wise, this year I didn't really celebrate it for various reasons and while I don't know where I'll be in nine months time. I do know that I'd like to spend it with my friends. Those people that are there for you whatever, those people that have your back. The people that inspire and motivate you. What else could you want.... Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind a good walk and some pizza too. 

But hey, I've got nine more months to experience before then.

Job applications and interviews

I am currently in the process of looking for my next career opportunity. The process is a strange experience. I have changed jobs a few times now and have some experience of looking and applying for work opportunities.

In some ways it is great because you can get excited about the opportunities you see and the possibilities that could come with the positions. Along with reviewing your previous experience and achievements. However, this initial excitement passes fairly quickly each time you have to re-fill in your persons details, employment and education history. With each form having a very, very slightly different formate, so there's no copy and paste option here. 

If your proactive enough, you will get through a few of these forms and repeating your answers to the most basic questions can be extremely frustrating. Especially when you want to focus on the job specific questions and information.

Truthfully I am disappointed when you do not get confirmation emails, or messages to inform you that you have not been selected. These are template emails and could be sent with relative ease by the organisation. This interaction would cost very little time and does influence my view of organisations. On one occasion, even after an interview, I had to contact the organisation to find out if I had been successful (I assumed I had not been, but thought I deserved an email or phone call to inform me of this). 

Interviews are definitely interesting. This is your opportunity to see if the job, and the organisation, is right for you. As well as the employer judging if you are the right person for them. Often this can be forgotten on the day as interview nerves kick in, particularly if you have a presentation or tasks to complete on the day. 

Remember to look around, what are the facilities like, is it clean, would you be happy working in this environment? Talk to other employees, are they happy, friendly, positive? You may even have your own list of workplace / environment expectations. Of course still remember you have to impress to be offered the job!

Asking questions and showing a genuine interest is viewed favourably by interviewers. They may even ask the view of any other staff that have interacted with you throughout your visit, so always be pleasant and professional. 

The journey to an interview can also have a huge impact on your experience and affect how you come across on the day. I like to review the route online a few days before, make sure I can locate a few parking options and allow plenty of time for traffic. Personally I would rather arrive an hour early than five minutes before. So I have plenty of time to relax and walk around. I have spoken to people previously who would travel to the interview venue prior to the day. For me, this a un-required expense and on occasion impractical given the distance involved. However if you require this or any other pre interview preparation you should do it.

I'm interested to hear what your pre interview prep includes, and what do you opinion of job applications is. Let me know by comment or tweet me @Mike_Douglas_

Talking Heads Southampton - Rocking Evening

I had a very enjoyable evening last night at the Talking Heads pub in Southampton (http://talkingheads.vticket.co.uk). Both Helen and Rachel had mentioned the gig the week before, as they are friends with a couple of the acts performing, and it sounded interesting. 

We met at Rach's before the gig to chat, have a few drinks and some chips. When we made our way to the venue, where I enjoyed my regular conversation with our taxi driver. On this occasion I found out that our taxi had two cameras in it and a panic button! This driver must have had some bad fares. Unfortunately there was no sing-a-long opportunity, but that does mean I feel fairly confident in saying that our journey will not end up on YouTube.

When we arrived we met up with the girls friends; Lee, Stuart and James (I think). It was quite interesting finding out about the work that these guys do and their use of drones. I may have asked quite a lot of questions about some of the legal / practical uses of the drones, possibly more than someone is meant to ask on a first meeting.

I also met two people, Charlotte and Tony, at the bar and chatted with them for a while before we made our way around to the event / stage.

The bands performing where Kings o Leon, Nearvana, Paramore (or less) and Foo Forgers. I enjoyed all of the sets, but has too be said, Foo Forgers where the ones that had me up at the front rocking out. I definitely had a very enjoyable evening, with good company and good music. 

This was the first time I'd visited the Talking Heads pub and as a venue it was pretty good. It was a nice size with more than adequate facilities and a good vibe.

The evening / night was rounded off with some much needed (if cooked a little too quickly) chips at Rach's with those awesome sisters and a couple more conversations before calling it a night. 

I look forward to the next opportunity to hear these bands and / or visit the pub for another gig. 

Foo Fighters - Broken Leg Tour

Around the start of the summer Helen had mentioned she was going to see the Foo Fighters, did anyone want to go with?

I like the Foo Fighters, but I think it's fair to say I'm not a massive fan. For me this was just as much about doing something different with a new friend and enjoying some live music at a venue I had not been to before. Helen was a great organiser, she booked our tickets and after discussion arranged our coach transport, what more could a guy ask for? 

The day came around really quickly, our plan was to meet at Helen's, then get a taxi or lift into town to jump on the coach. I arrived at 9.30am and we discussed the day, working out we would arrive in Milton Keynes four hours before the first act. At this stage we were thinking we could have driven and left later, however it was also in our minds that hopefully being able to sleep on the way back would be the benefit as we would not be returning to Southampton until 2.30am (we actually got back to Helen's for 3.40am!).

The adventure started with a coach driver who admitted openly he didn't know where he was going, he'd never been to the venue before and didn't know if we were being picked up by him or even if the pick up point was the same as the drop off. Then, despite telling us he didn't know where he was going, he informed us that he was ignoring the suggested route he had been provided with. This, was an interesting character! 

On the journey we had a good chat and a few discussions about different topics. We entered into friendships and relationships conversation territory, and all I can say is talking about your new bessie mate to her sister is an interesting experience. I enjoyed spending the time together and definitely feel that Helen is a friend, rather than just a friend's sister.

On the coach we had chosen in sit behind the toilet, this meant we had a little bit more space and didnt have some sat directly in front of us. However, it did mean that you had to try and avoid awkward eye contact with the person that was about to sit on the toilet as they went in. Actually it was more funny than awkward. 

On arrival at Milton Keynes Bowl we walked around looking at the merch stand, sat and had our lunch before walking around the area and finding a nearby Tesco. We decided to grab a couple of drinks before we went into the Bowl. That four hours seemed non existent, walked back from Tesco and had our drinks by the lake before joining the queue to enter the bowl. Didn't really fell like we did much waiting.  

The Bowl is a great venue, but it's just so difficult to move around the food stalls and toilet area, this could really do with being extended or widened.

The first support act was Royal Blood, I recognised a lot of the music but didn't know many lyrics. It was a good start, apart from the blinding sun being right in my eye line, fancy not bringing sunglasses. After the the first act we walked around to the toilet area, where I engaged in a rather humorous conversation about toilet times with a few other visitors in the queue.
We then made our way around to the food stalls and settled on the noodle bar (I'd learnt from Mike at the crew at victorious. Though I am disappointed I didn't take a photo), once we had our food we made our way back in and eventually found a spot to sit and eat. The chicken chow mein was amazing! The second support act was Iggy Pop, who was great. I recognised way more songs than I thought I would, I was even able to sing along to a couple. 

Then the main act, Foo Fighters. Loved listing to the older songs as that's a majority of what I know. Dave Grohl is a grand lead man, even if it is from a throne! We sung along and danced on the hill as the tunes ran though. The Under Pressure performance with John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) and Roger Taylor (Queen) was a pretty cool surprise too! The best part of the day...The Best Of You performance, some great crowd involvement. There's a pretty decent video on YouTube from a crowd member slightly closer than us (YouTube Link). I can't really say much more about the evening other than it was great.

Once the gig was finished we made our way back to the coach. Finding our driver asleep was quite funny and probably the best part of the return journey. Once the coach was full we were informed no vehicles were going to be allowed to leave the site until all pedestrians had cleared the area. This meant waiting over an hour before even moving. We got back to Helens for 3.40am to round off a pretty cool day trip. It's fair to say we were both quite tired the next day. 

Victorious Festival

This was my third time attending victorious, the first time I went along it was held at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard so I still find it really interesting to see the event in its new location at Southsea Common.

I decided to travel by train, as parking and driving into Portsmouth and Southsea would be ridiculous with the number of people attending. This meant arriving at Portsmouth and Southsea station and then walking up to the seafront which was about a 20 minute walk. Along the way I grabbed a tuna and pasta salad and drink from Sainsbury's and I ate that on the walk. Side note, this was the worst tuna and pasta salad ever!

Last year had been an amazing day and was great weather, this year the forecast was slightly different with more than the occasional cloud and rain predicted. So no flip-flops this time instead walking shoes, instead of shorts I wore jeans, and last years jumper had been joined by a coat.

I arrived just after 1pm and walked to the entrance. At this time there was no queue and I did not have a bag, so the entry process was quick. I had arranged to meet some friends at 2pm. So I had a while to walk around and see what was here. The venue had been extended this year to include more of the common and an additional stage. It does feel like the event is growing each year and gradually turning into a great festival event. There seemed to be plenty to do if you had a family, with an area away from the larger stages where you could find small rides, games, circus skills, small tennis courts, a painting wall and Disney princesses. 

As I walked around the one thing I thought was missing was something resembling the lounge tent I'd visited at the Common People Festival in Southampton. That had a great vibe and was a really interesting setting. 

I met up with Mike, Ellie, Marcus, Mike, Lucy and Amy round by one of the tanks. We had a quick chat and started to walk around the venue and tried to work out the acts we wanted to see and the times and stages we needed to be at. 

The first act I wanted to see was Jerry Williams. I had seen that a friend, Amba, was playing at victorious on Instagram and found out when she was performing. This was a great set, I really enjoyed hearing Jerry sing on the acoustic stage. She has one additional fan in me. I'm even attaching a link - Jerry Williams Music 

After this we walked around a bit more, I even bumped into Tracey from Speed Dating. I say bumped into, we had been texting so we both knew we were there. It was great to have a brief chat and a dance with the girls (Tracey was there with Emma and another friend, who's name I can't remember, sorry!). I found out we were also both going to the Foo Fighters gig in Milton Keynes the following week, unfortunately on different days though. 

With Mike and the crew we moved round to the Common Stage, to see The Magic Numbers and The Fratellis sets, we also grabbed food in between, or possibly before not exactly sure. I went for burger and chips, which was ok. I think I had gotten to the stage where as long as it was food I'd be happy, haha. most of the guys went for noodles, which looked good (There maybe mention of noodles at the next event...). The performances were great and we really enjoyed listening to the music and, well, kind of dancing around. The rain did really change the atmosphere from what I had experienced the year before, and even at Common People earlier in this year. 

At this point we split up with the guys going over to another stage to watch Mystery Jets, I stayed for Primal Scream. At this point I finally managed to get through to Olivia who was also at the event. Olivia has been a friend since preschool, but we've not seen each other for a couple of years. So I went over to say hi to her and her friends (finding them in the crowd was actually not too difficult) as we watched Primal Scream. It was great to catch up, have a chat, find out what she was up to and meet her boyfriend Nick, who I believe works for National Geographic.

We then made our way over to watch Tiny Temper close the event. While dancing around in the mud was fun, my legs were seriously starting to fail me. I knew I'd be ok once we where walking back to the station, but dancing on the spot wasn't great. 

All in all I enjoyed victorious this year, but it has to be said it's a very different event when you can't sit down or lay the grass, just look up at the sunny sky and listen to music as you close your eyes. The other difference this year, I would say the Sunday was a stronger lined up than Saturday. I would have loved to have seen Texas and I'm sure Ray Davies, The Darkness and Hayseed Dixie would have been great to see live too.

I'll definitely go again next year, I'm even considering going for both days. I would love to see a couple more smaller stages such as the one that was the Common People for smaller acts in a more intimate setting. It was great to manage to see a few people there too, I enjoyed catching up and spend time with these guys.

Walking to the train station with Olivia and friends

Mike and the crew after I lost them.

Singles night(s)

In the last few weeks I've decided I would like to put myself back out there and have, on recommendation from Rachel, joined a couple of dating apps and signed up for a singles night.

The apps are pretty hit and miss in my opinion so far. I've heard horror stories and success stories, so that, I guess, reinforces that view. Additionally I enjoy face to face interaction much more. I feel that I learn more about the person I am with and gain a better feeling for if there is any sort of connection when you are physically in each others presence. 

For this reason I was interested and excited to attend a Match.com event in Southampton with Rachel. We went along and had dinner (in the same venue as the event) before the event started. This allowed us to see the first few people go up and know we wouldn't be the first to enter. We tried to see who was going up to the function room to gage a few things about the people attending, like attractiveness, age, gender. This was fairly unsuccessful, we could see that some people had gone up but we couldn't see enough to tell what they where like. This was an open event, so there could be mainly 20, 30, 50, 80 year olds, we didn't know. In a strange way that made me more nervous and more relaxed at the same time. Its hard to explain.  

About 20 minutes after the event started we made our way over and signed in with the host. At this point we were given a drinks card, there was something about finding someone (of the opposite sex) with a matching card to get a free drink, but we quickly saw you could exchange them for a drink without matching them. So I'm not sure if it didn't matter, or maybe we would have gotten a better drink if we'd matched it? I really don't know. 

* I have since worked out, I think, that these are just conversation starters. It makes no difference to your drink. 

For a while we just talked to each other, as everyone else was notability older than us (minimum 15 years older) and that wasn't something we were looking for. After about 15 minutes there was a steady influx of people. Somehow we created a group of 5 and chatted as a small group for a while. Sometimes with multiple conversations at once. 

It was really nice to just chat to people and enjoy being sociable with new people. Through I evening I mainly spoke to two girls, April and Julianna. While Rach spoke to a couple of guys. It was great to be there with someone, but be happy to talk to different people / groups. I guess it made me feel more comfortable and relaxed. 

The two girls I spoke to where friends and where really interesting to talk to. We discussed a few things throughout the evening, I did get distracted a couple of times with tying to work out their safe, or escape phase (which I managed to get by the end of the evening using my skills of deduction). At one stage in the evening I did look around the room and see that there where quite a few people at the event now and thought maybe I should 'mingle' more. However I was enjoying the conversation and company I currently had so opted to stay where I was. Occasionally someone would come over and sit with the three of us, but they would also leave after a short while. The next time I looked around the room had started to empty out, more people where leaving and the bar was shutting. It felt like it had been 10 minutes, I can only assume it had been much longer.

I really enjoyed the event and was glad that Rach had suggested it. I continue to chat with April, we've even been on two dates.

Shortly after the singles night we also signed up for a Speed Dating event. This time Rach's sister, Helen would be coming with us too.

I was looking forward to the speed dating to see how different it was to the open, free, Match event. This event was booked through Speed Dater and had a £13 booking fee. Now I've mentioned the money, I feel this is an appropriate time to mention one of the differences here. Attending the 'open' mingle type of event before was great to attend with someone of the opposite gender. Speed Dating however, not as much. You are paying to meet people, so what is the point of going with people you already know? For me, I really like these girls so spending time with them is a joy and something I look forward to. However, I was definitely feeling that I had two wasted dates, which equated to £2.60 of my booking free. Ok, I've said it now I'll let that go. They really are lovely girls 😀  

This time on arrival we grabbed drinks and made our way up to the event area straight away. There were a couple of people there already, but a majority hadn't arrived yet. 

As people began to arrive there was a visible difference in the attire people where wearing, particularly I thought the guys. Having gone with the smart casual standard shirt and jeans, I was interested to see Gary turn up in a suit and tie combo and another chap wearing t-shirt jeans and carrying a bag. A couple of the girls seemed to have come together and where dressed in similar fashion, so there wasn't as much of a difference in their attire.

Rach, Helen and myself sat down and chatted for about 20 minutes. At this point the event host provided an overview of the evening and how the dates would work. Ladies would sit at a table for the evening with men rotating tables every four minutes, the four minutes would be sounded by a bell. We had been provided with the scorecard, which we could make notes on following each date. Along with ticking if we were interested in dating this person, being friends or not interested. 

Once we started, you start on the table that matches your number, so for example girl 3 starts with boy 3. I immediately enjoyed the experience and talking to the different girls that where there. I found it hilarious that the host put Rachel and Helen next to each other. Meaning each could hear the others conversation. Meeting the family on the first date, within four minutes, still makes me chuckle. Personally I was not keen on the set up of the room, I didn't feel the space was optimised and some dates where very close to others and then two where in there own space. It just seemed a little strange. I did not seem to have a chance to make any 'notes' as I went around. I managed with just noting down name and table number.

As an experience it was different to what I had expected. I though you'd be able to chat with people, but you may need to think of a topic or question if the conversation stalled. However I found the opposite, it was easy to talk to everyone. But with the time going so fast, it became important to move the conversation on to other topics sometimes, or you learnt nothing about the person other than a hobby or their job. The event as a whole seemed to pass very quickly which I suppose shows I had a good time. We hung around after the event finished with two guys (Chris and Mike) and two girls (Emma and Tracey) for a little while, having a couple of drinks and chatting about our thoughts on the evening. I retain the belief that these are great events for meeting and chatting to new people. I think the pressure comes when you go hoping to meet someone that night. 

I think the two events are very different, and both are worth attending. Speed Dating is good for confidence building because you have to talk to everyone at the event. However it can be restrictive if you want to spend more that a couple of minutes with someone. Then you really need to catch them at the end of the dating and chat a bit more. The open events, such as Match, are nice relaxing evenings out and you can attend without the same pressure that may come with speed dating, however (again) you do have to make the effort to approach and talk to people. No one is going to ring a bell a say its your turn with that girl / guy you like the look of.

My Birthday

So it's my birthday (its not now, because Ive rewritten this and posted about a week latter), I've decided to not really celebrate it this year. It has not been the greatest, with some huge changes I had not expected.

I still believe everything happens for a reason, as well as, no fate but what we make (Thanks Sarah Conner). 

The week before, was my final UCAS week. Where I visited Essex and London. The events were much quieter due to the amazing weather, which it has too be said is much less amazing when your in a hall with no fans and no breeze coming through the doors. It was a week of lovely dinners though. I enjoyed the company of Vicky (a Student Ambassador) and Issy again in Essex. Then in London I ate with the Scottish Universities, which was also a delight. It has been great to meet and spend time with some really interesting people over the last few weeks. 
This was followed with a week of Summer School activities, to delay the going home. It was a good week with students really enjoying the experience, but tired would have been an understatement.

Summer School Team at the end of the Boat Party.

My return to regular life has been, a little  surreal. Being home in my own bed for nights in a row, is just strange. 
My contract at the University will be ending soon, so the start, or rather the continuation, of the job hunt is on. I have already secured work over the summer, where I will be returning to a former role, so I am looking forward to catching up with some former colleagues and friends. 

Socially...So Friday was the start of my non birthday activities. 

I managed to avoid a birthday celebration (mostly), which is good. There has been some happenings in the last year that meant I didn't want to celebrate in the traditional sense. I did however have a few good days and evenings with great friends. I had a great day with Rachel, catching up on all things Andover, putting the world to rights and just enjoying good company with lots of talking and a few drinks. It was almost a tour, taking in the best Southampton had to offer. Pitcher & Piano (http://www.pitcherandpiano.com), the Ice Cream Man, Samba Bar & Grill (http://www.sambagrill.co.uk), Turtle Bay (http://www.turtlebay.co.uk) Giddy Bridge (http://www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk) and Sainsbury's. 

The food at Pitcher & Piano was ok, but I didn't think it was anything special, which was a shame as I had high hopes. While this is a great spot to sit outside, chat and have a view of see and sails, the arrival of a workman and drill meant we moved on once we finished our food.

This amazing get together was followed up by a movie night the following week with Rachel and her sister. We watched Jurassic World and I must say my view of this film seems to be different to most people's. There were some good scenes, but as a film...I didn't think that much of it. I really did not care if the Indominus-Rex ate the children, their characters where very bland and one dimensional. There was very little character development or interest in terms of story line. 

Despite the underwhelming film it was an enjoyable evening and great to get to know Helen a little better via the age old questions of; if you where an animal, if you where on a deserted island, and if you could go back in time. I've even offered myself as garden maintenance support, it must have been a good evening.

*Postpost update - I'm now going to see Foo Fighters with Helen in September! Pretty sure that will be way better than JP.

I've had a few other catch ups too.

Annual Havant & Waterlooville Vs Portsmouth Pre-Season Game

Annual East Hants Volleyball Club (http://www.easthantsvolleyball.org.uk) Tournament in Bordon 

 I had a man date with Drew on yesterday, our plan was to go somewhere other than O'Neil's (http://www.oneills.co.uk/winchester/) since we always go there. But...we still ended up there. In our defence the place is nice. The food is good and served fairly quickly and, for the second time I took on the Skyscraper. 2-0 Mike!

I also had a Fifa match up with Darryl and Mike this week. I won the Championship game, lets not talk about the other matches. It was really nice to have a catch up and chat through a few things too. I have found great value in some of the guys and girls Ive spent time with in the last few weeks-months. Sometimes its just been fun, other times its been much needed, even required. But hey that's what friends are for right.

My social life knows no bounds right now, Its like a scene from Yes Man.

I have even started to arrange with Rachel and Helen to take part in a Come Dine With Me Week, hosting and cooking. We just need to confirm the dates to see who's able to join us. For someone with no real cooking ability I think I could be far too excited about this. 

I am also looking forward to Victorious and a few other events coming up in the next few months. So very happy about that. I think the next one is Olly's Stag Do, so Ill give some though about if I'm going to blog that...

My UCAS Journey - Week Two

As you know, if you've been reading from the beginning, part of the reason for me writing this blog is to develop my writing style and ability. With that in mind I decided to write my second week of UCAS travels in one go, rather than the 'as and when' approach I took for the first week.
Initially I found this quite hard, because I wanted to sit down at certain points and just write a little about the day. Although by the end of the week, I had kind of got used to not recording my thoughts or actions, but this process has made me realise the enjoyment I get from reflecting and recording what I have done and seen. The enjoyment of just writing, maybe just a few lines or a couple of pages, and that time to reflect and appreciate is more valuable than I first though.

So the second week of UCAS travel took me to Bedford, Cambridge and London. This time I travelled by hire car, no trains for me (though I am back on them next week). I had a Vauxhall Corsa in a lovely shade of dark grey and most importantly it was an automatic. I have enjoyed driving driving this car and have to say I'm not looking forward to going back to my Rover.
The first day travelling was Sunday, hoping to beat the traffic and arrive in time to walk around and find somewhere for dinner I set off around lunch time. Unfortunately this did not prevent me from siting in a lot of traffic when passing London. but at least I was moving!
Having completed most of the journey to Bedford I passed a large Morrison's store and thought about stopping for the salad bar, I decided to keep going and get to the hotel. This was a mistake. I adore the Morrison's salad bar and instead I ended up walking around trying to find somewhere to eat later and settling for a Burger King.

The walk from the hotel to the town centre was mainly along the Embankment, which I thought looked like a good place for a morning run. Thus my plan was find food fast and eat early so I would be able to run in the morning. Ever more feeding into the fact I should have gone for that salad bar.
After the Burger King dinner I made my way back to the hotel, where I discovered I could watch the TV from the bath. So I had my first bath for about three years while watching an Addams Family movie. This was the first time Ive 'relaxed' in a hotel since the travelling had started. It was defiantly due, given I had started to lose my voice on Friday and Saturday involved sounds more than words leaving my mouth.

The morning run was great, haven fallen asleep at around 8pm I think it is fair to say I was well rested. As I ran along the embankment you could see all the ducks and birds starting to move and awaken (properly me stomping around that woke them up). I was quite happy with my 3.6miles, having not run for about four weeks. I'm planning on getting back out there once a week, I'm not exactly 'Beach Body Ready' hahaha. The run went well despite having to put my door key in my sock because my shorts didn't have a pocket.

This week I made a change and stopped having the cooked breakfast at every hotel and started having one bowl of cereal and one of fruit. I have enjoyed the cooked food, but returning to cereal and fruit, which is what I would usually have, was defiantly better for my energy levels.
After work I walked into town to grab some snacks for the following day. Which required walking back along the embankment, now filled with rowers and cyclist calling out instructions from the footpaths. I decided to sit and watch a few row along the river while I sat enjoying the evening sun.

On the second day at the Bedford event I took the opportunity to walk around and talk with fellow practitioners and recruiters from other institutions. It is always interesting to gain an insight into someone else's approach and their thoughts on the events we attend. Through discussions I discovered that there where a few of us going to the next event in Cambridge. One of the people I spoke to throughout the day was Issy, who is from another university in the south. She mentioned the 'joy' of eating alone so I said we should meet for dinner in Cambridge.

I arrived in Cambridge, and to the hotel that had been booked, to find my booking had been cancelled. Not a great start. Fortunately it was 4.45pm and I was able to call the office for more information. It appeared that my booking had indeed been cancelled and a new booking made at another hotel, much closer to the venue.
The new hotel was very nice and I did manage to get the last space in the car park, which made me happy. There were a few issues with the booking information that had not been sent to the hotel, but the staff on reception where very friendly and allowed me to go up to the room while they looked into the details. This was also a good chance to charge / sync the iPads and do some ironing while everything was being checked.

Around half an hour later and the booking was confirmed. At this point I started my walk around the city and text Issy to see where was best to meet. After a few texts and a phone call we decided where to meet, unaware of whether it was the best place. Its fair to say it took us a while to find somewhere to eat that could be covered by our expenses claim. Eventually we found revolution (I think the same chain as the place I had dinner with Tom in Lincoln). After our meal we walked through or around (not exactly sure) the city and the surrounding fields, we chatted about work, relationships, pets and life in general. It was good just to talk, its strange what you can say to someone you've met only met two days ago. Especially when some of the things you say you haven't said to friends you've had for years.

The following day, after the event meant moving on to London, Tower Hamlets. The drive there was not too bad, but parking......This caused some confusion and notable issues. After over five minutes going forward and back to get into a roadside parking space, I found out it was a three hour max spot. So I ran into the hotel and asked for the nearest car park information. I then drove and walked around trying to find this place they have described. Unable to find it I return and manage to get one of the front desk team to walk around and show me. Turns out it is someone else's land I'm parking on and it will be £15 for the privilege. This, while being recommended and essentially instructed by the reception team is not something they organise. I was given a name and phone number to confirm that I can stay in the car park. The number I discover does not work, so I then returned to reception (having walked up to my room to drop off the bags). It takes them a few minutes, and several numbers, to get a ringing tone, then finally I am passed the phone to arrange my own parking. I still find this very strange.
During that evening I caught up with a few emails and checked in with a few friends online. One of whom was free the following evening so we made plans for me to drop by on the way home from London.

The following day was one of the busiest events for enquires and questions regarding our university and higher education in general. It was another case of being in a room that got increasingly hot and stuffy. Being busy was a blessing as you didn't have a chance to think too much about the conditions. Alas 2.30pm came round fairly quickly and we made our own ways back, my colleagues for the day journeyed to the train station while I started walking back to the hotel and the car park. After paying my fee and setting the iPad up, to call out directions, I was on my way. But not very far very fast. The iPad, in all its wisdom took me through road works and congestion charge zones. Which lead to leaving London taking two hours! This meant I was a little behind for my evening of socialising, so I decided to drive straight to Rachel's and grab a takeaway there. After the horror show that was driving in London and a busy week, it was really nice to relax, chat, catch up and discuss various topics. I'm already looking forward to our lunch date in a couple of weeks.

So that's it, week two of UCAS travel over. Ive spent my weekend off sorting the garden, its almost presentable out there. The plan is to do something (garden related) in July, well properly August now, July is already looking busy on the weekends.

In terms of writing tools and styles, I have found this week really valuable... In deciding that I don't like writing in this 'recap' style as much. I prefer writing in the moment and recording thoughts when they happen. It feels much more authentic, interesting and passionate....from my point of view anyway.

Additionally I have recently heard that two former colleagues will be moving on to new and exciting challenges soon. I wish them all the best and hope to catch up soon.

UCAS Travels Week One

My next three weeks are filled with UCAS Events. At the time of writing, I'm not sure how I will post this blog entry. Given the length of time I am travelling I may post once a week.

Each post will include short posts written through out the journey.

Event One

Anyhow, today's travels started well with the much loved walk to the train station from home, apart from the having to carry my bag part. The train to London Waterloo was a smooth journey. However there were terrifying scenes at Waterloo, as a container had been broken open and wildlife from Jurassic World had escaped. 

Having survived the carnage and avoided near certain death I boarded the underground and continued my onward journey to Leeds. 

Departing the train at Leeds Train Station, my standard arrival process began;

Locate City Street Map

Locate and walk to Hotel

Request iron

Charge phone

Walk back to city for exploration

At this time I should also mention the view from my rooms window....

I found Leeds city centre and walked passed shops, bars and Town Hall. The city had a nice mixture of old and new buildings and architecture. I soon found another city street map which I used to locate my next stops. First the church, to rest my legs in the small green outside. Then the first direct arena, which I walked around. Its a shame you can't see part of the inside of these stadiums and arenas as you walk past. You can't see anything from outside, so no more information on that one.

I then started to just walk, in no particular direction. I ended up on a high street (Victoria Quarter) where I stopped to listen to a street music performance. Which I really enjoyed, I am a sucker for street performers.

After a while around Victoria Quarter I walked on to the river and found a couple of bridges to cross. At this stage Newcastle's bridges where looking very impressive! I did however take a brief moment to look at the padlocks left on Centenary Bridge. Which reminded me of the Southgate footbridge in Melbourne, where 'lovers locks' where also left on the bridge. However I did read recently that the padlocks are being removed from the Melbourne footbridge because of safety fears, which does seem ridiculous (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/11612176/Melbourne-to-remove-20000-love-locks-from-bridge-due-to-safety-concerns.html). 

After taking 10 minutes to write down some thoughts and notes on the day. I made my way back to meet Tom and the Student Ambassadors for dinner. We ended up eating separately as I had walked quite far from the hotel. But did meet up for a chat and discussed our thoughts on Student Ambassadors, Summer Schools and Leeds later that evening. 

Over the next two days we attended the UCAS event to discuss opportunities and provision at our institution.

Outside of this we did walk around the city centre viewing the new and historic buildings, Leeds has a nice mixture of architecture, though having now seen the city no one thing would particularly attract me back to the city.

That being said, I enjoyed watching the street performers near Victoria Quarter, sitting in a church garden and visiting Leeds City Museum (www.leeds.gov.uk/citymuseum).

I had seen there was an exhibition of light on at the museum the evening before, which looked interesting. So the following day I managed to drop in and look around the museum. 

(Yes I arrived before the computers had loaded) 

The exhibition of light was not quite what I had hoped, however I did enjoy looking some of the other areas within the museum. Particularly the development of writing, Egyptian culture and Leeds a brief history.

The hotel (Holiday Inn Express) was ok, but definitely not the best place I've stayed. The room was good, but a twin not a double as booked. The shower was very good, but the tap water was definitely not suitable for drinking, which I discovered. The breakfast again had positives (sausages) and negatives (watered down scrambled eggs and lack of selection). But, and there's already been a few, the bed was pretty uncomfortable. So not somewhere I would rush to stay again.

Anyway it's time to move on to the next event. I'm currently on the Leeds to London train. Hoping to get home before 10pm before setting of for Sheffield tomorrow. I'm definitely looking forward to next week when I will be driving from one event to the next, and not returning home in between. It adds so much time and energy to the travel required. 

  

Event Two

Hello from Sheffield!

Feeling much more relaxed than I did this morning. The trains back from Leeds really took it out of me. Driving today was much nicer. Though that was mainly midday driving, we will see how much I like it after driving from here to home on a Friday evening.

On arrival I quickly looked up the surrounding area and worked out the city centre was a 50 minute walk away. Which is fine, but a little further than you'd like. Before leaving for the long trek ahead, I asked at reception to confirm the direction. Where I received two very bewildered faces when asking for walking directions to the city. After confirming I did know it was an hours walk, I was surprised and interested in the tram alternative that was suggested. In fact that's what I did. The tram cost £3.60 for a return and the journey lasted 6 minutes.

It was a while before I found a city street map. Thus I strolled through the city walking from one potentially interesting thing to another. Some buildings turned out to be much less interesting or entertaining than initially expected. However I did stumble across a few great stops. 

Sheffield Cathedral (I know, it's becoming a habit (I think that maybe a church joke)), was beautiful inside and had most of the cathedral open for visitors to walk around. 

Again I took the opportunity to light a prayer candle between walking through various sections of this grand building. There was an additional station set up at the rear with headphones playing; songs from the choir, the bells being rung and the organ being played.

After the beauty of the cathedral I made my way, in a direction I'm not exactly sure of. Anyhow, I found myself walking through the Sheffield Winter Garden. This is not particularly large, but its inclusion in the city centre is great. This along with the green outside the Town Hall and City Council building, which is next to the Winter Garden, is a great place to sit and take some time out.

However I was getting hungry and remembered seeing a Chinese buffet a while back and tried to work out exactly what point of the journey I needed to return to and which road that may have been. After a couple of wrong turns, initially I was not sure on the direction I needed to travel, I was on my way. The buffet was not that far away, when walking in the correct direction, then in I go (http://u-buffet.co.uk). The variety was not as vast as I had hoped for, however there was still plenty to choose from. The food was good and the staff where very friendly and quick to help you or clear tables. I did the unthinkable and had hot food, cold food (ice cream), cold food, hot food. I must say the last plate did feel a little unnecessary once I was eating it. But yummy all the same.

After that lovely dinner I walked, slightly slower, back to the tram stop. Where I nearly boarded the tram heading in the wrong direction. No worries though, I'm now back in the hotel charging iPads for tomorrow's event and looking forward to that drive! 

Saturday's Friday Recap

I made it home and have 36 hours to rest before getting back on the road. Which is needed because I currently can't talk and feel very tired in the mornings. So today (Saturday) is going to be a relax day.

To catch up yesterday, breakfast felt slightly un-required after the Chinese buffet, but I did manage half a bowl of cereal and a half of fruit. I also received a message about a gig for that evening, which involved meeting up at 7. This sounded like a great way to finish the week, hang with some friends and listen to music. The only trouble was getting back in time. It was possible, but we had travelled through roadworks to get to Sheffield and I was fairly sure we would see them again on the way back, this along with the fact it was a friend night meant that getting back for 7 would be ambitious. 

So when the time came, after another good UCAS event, we started the journey back to the south coast. Unfortunately we did not have access to the work satnavs, and the long journey meant using phones to navigate was out of the question, thanks to not so amazing battery life. Alas we had iPads! So with our Student Ambassador asleep in the back, Simone and I sorted the iPad to navigate our way back. Unfortunately this did mean that Simone had to hold the iPad all the way, though the thought of having the iPad on a window attachment did make me laugh as it would take up half the windscreen. Fortunately we did not end up in as much traffic or road works as I had expected, however it was still enough to prevent me from getting back in time to make the gig.  We stopped off at Oxford services around 6pm and where very grateful for a Harry Ramadans pie and chips. It was a fair drive from Sheffield to home, but I enjoyed discussing various topics Simone; family, work life, projects, our own histories. It was good and definitely made the drive go faster. 

As a side note the driving did remind me of my favourite road sign ever, from Australia of course. I couldn't find my own photo of the sign so I have utilised one from another site (http://driving.ca/auto-news/news/sleepy-drivers-almost-as-dangerous-as-drunks-study-3)

Today (Saturday) is a wash clothes, say hi to the cats, relax day, before going again tomorrow. Then starts week two, of three on my UCAS journeys. Unfortunately I didn't make it to the gig last night, which is a real shame. However I have no voice now, so I have no idea what I would be like if I had made it!